When Death Stumbles Upon Me

When death stumbles upon me,

I hope it comes a day after I have said my farewells to the people I love.

A day where I have held them a little longer, said the things I needed to say, and left nothing behind that needed to be spoken.

And even when I am gone,
I hope you can still feel me.

When death stumbles upon me,

I hope it feels like being wrapped in a cozy blanket on a cold night, when the world outside is quiet and there is nowhere else you need to be.

I hope it feels like those little moments when you are too tired to take care of yourself, and someone who loves you does it for you without being asked. When you are half asleep, barely aware of what is happening, but somehow still comforted by the sound of familiar voices nearby.

When death stumbles upon me,

I hope it feels like sitting by a fireplace, wrapped in layers, snuggled next to you, and going through every memory we have ever made together.

The big ones.
The stupid ones.
The ones we almost forgot.

I hope we laugh at them until our stomachs hurt, the kind of laughter that makes no sense to anyone else.

And all in all, when death stumbles upon me,

I hope it fills every space that once held hate for me with love.

I hope it leaves behind a beautiful music in your heart, something soft enough to bring you peace, something familiar enough to remind you of me.

And when you miss me,

I hope you do not only remember that I am gone.

I hope you remember that, once,
I was here.

And I loved you